How the Story Goes..

Well, i met her about 2 years ago...
thanks to a friend i had, it wasnt really anything
serious the way i met her... i was just kinda joking..
and her friend kinda introduced her to me...

She seemed shy at the moment, yet interesting
and funny at times.. didnt really impact me...
but when i met her personally.. i was like woah...
she was young, yet charming.. exotic..

I really considered the idea.. of asking her out
yet i was scared.. i was not the kind of guy
a healthy relationship, for me it was all
about sex... and other aspects..

I didnt want to fuck up, so ignored the fact
she was also interested in me...

She held a grudge against me for some time...
it was my fault.. i played her heart.. not a
smart move, but in that moment, it seemed
the best possible choice...

Sometime passed.. i met other persons..
and just looked at her from the distance...
from a safe one..
One safe for both if i can say that...

We kinda forgot all about it..

Yet more time passed... and we got together
once.. i remember like now, it was a concert...
i was not expecting her there.. but i felt really
surprised.. and somehow really attracted..

im not sure if i was drunk.. im not sure, what it was..

after that day passed.. i realized how many
good chances i wasted for being the person i was
... for being someone whom i never felt happy with...

I Decided to Change.. and somehow.. i channeled all that
into the attraction i felt for her..

I started caring for her too much, it just started growing so fast...
it seemed like i almost lost control of myself..
i decided.. that if i was gonna love someone..
trust someone.. i was gonna make it right...

She.. didnt accept my offering at the moment...
and i understood her..
but i was not giving up...
this was what i truly wanted..
and i wanted to fight for it..

Finally.. it happened.. after much struggle..
it finally did.. kiss under a new moon..

after that.. i felt insane.. like i couldnt get better..

I Struggled to give the best of myself..
it just felt right..
like my body just did it by itself..
it was almost automatic..

I Dunno if its right to say.. that
it was the best relationship i have ever been in...
i dunno if there is something better out there...
but i finally knew what love is..

Until.. it ended..
out of nowhere it did..
i felt.. i was falling from a really high place
until my body met the ground..

every bone in my body cracked, and
in pain only 1 tear came out..
i felt scared.. cheated..
i felt it was just all a nightmare..

I understood the meaning of
"i couldnt believe it"
literally..
i was crushed...

Its been a week now.. and im still
recovering.. its not easy.. at all..
probably the hardest thing i have gone through
right now in my life... maybe is not a big deal..
for for the new me.. it was hell..

I learned to undertstand her reasons.. i
even insulted her without wanting..
i still love her.. but there is not much to be done..
just.. deal with it.. i guess..

to be continued...