10 Minutes in the Abyss

How random can i be sometimes?
Humph what am i really thinking of?
am i so sure of myself?
can someone be really sure of what to expect
from the next 5 minutes..

I dont know, tell you the truth im just
writting my mind.. they say its good to let
everything out sometimes..
Let you inner demons out instead of
just feeding them...

I rather bite my lips sometimes, and
swallow my own words... i rather expect nothing
from the next 5 minutes, not even clearance..
theres no such thing as thinking nothing...
can i just stop thinking of myself for a second?

No..

It takes more than a Blog Website to keep the
demons away... yeah sure i could use a friend...
but come again.. use a friend?.. im just using a friend
that'll make me feel worse..

No.. not really.. give me a good reason to have friends?
not to feel alone, sure that may be true..
to have fun, yeah sounds.. great..
to be there for them?.. wel.. then .. will they be there for me?
yea.. most of them..

Now.. what does it matter...?
Wish i could just escape.. go far away...
i dont care of meeting new places.. i just
want to forget the old ones..
is that possible? i dont know.. i could try..
i guess.. i guess.. i guess.. i guess...
i.. i.. i.. me me me..?

I feel like a Nut!.. damn...
this is of no importance..
why am i writting such irrelevant
words.. where are they coming from?
and yet again so many questions, with No
Fucking IMportance.. im.. not making sense
you say...? well who makes sense? who cares?

who gives a fuck!!!! im not pissed, im not feeling
"emo" i just felt like writting everything
that goes through my head..
what does it feel to be in My Mind for 10 mins?
i dont know.. never been there.. i have always
been out of my mind..

Hahahahahaaha.. oh my god.. i am crazy..
this is fun.. you should try it sometime..
no im not drunk or under the effect of some weird
shit.. i just need to talk ....

Now i ask myself ok, maybe i have my life planned
and figured out, but do i have a plan B you say?
well no, do i need one? uhmm yeah good idea..
i need one, what if everything goes to hell?
i mean come on... life has a tendency to fuck
itself.. what will happen when shit hits the fan at the
end?... take cover i guess..